Coming April 2023 from the Black Rose Writing publishing company... 

As a kid, in addition to weinerface, I was called freckleberg, carrot top, and a host of other juvenile slights. In retrospect, it's quite remarkable that one day back then I decided it was a good idea to hurl a string of fat-boy insults to a chubby bully across the street. I thought I was safe from his wrath, since I was standing on the stoop of my own house. That incident became the basis for the title tale in Weinerface. (It also became the basis of why I stopped insulting chubby bullies.)

If the world really is as crazy as it most definitely seems to be right now, perhaps some entertaining, thought-provoking short stories might come in handy for our collective sanity. Stories about the next big bang, for instance. Or the pain of political incorrectness. Or what God would think of Hitler. Or someone whose father was a libidinous rock star. Or a potential four-year-old messiah. Or what happens after you insult a chubby bully...

That’s what Weinerface is: 36 short stories that will enable you to consider and enjoy such questions as:

• What if you believed the world was going to end and decided it was time to overindulge with food and sex? (My Ass, Not Yours)   

• What if you had to pack for a one-way trip to outer space? (One Hundred Fifty Nine Pounds Max)

• What if you went to a job interview and saw all the men sitting in corners with their eyes closed? (Men with Yellow Balls)

• What if all your clothes were stolen during a lunchtime picnic during work?  (Bitten By a Badger in Blauvelt)

• What if you were certain of winning an exotic game that turned out to be nothing but bingo?  (Bingo)

• What if Hitler met God? (Funny, You Don't Look Dead)

• What if you met the love of your life at a highway rest stop but couldn't understand a word he said?  (Selective Emory)

• What if the rest of your life depended on saving a pigeon? (Pidge)

•  What if you could actually meet the stars of I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched? (Tabernacle Tom and His Really Weird, Absolutely True Story)

•  What if you went to a clothing-optional beach that was no longer clothing-optional? (The Naked Gambler)

I may call it fiction, but in addition to the based-on-truth story described in the title tale, in 1984 I accepted an assignment from a newspaper that was run by some sort of quasi religious organization, just like the young man in Men with Yellow Balls. In 1999 my 12-year-old daughter really did fall asleep in the bathroom, as does Molly in Molly in the Morning. In the Seventies my grandfather really did get out of paying a traffic ticket because he decided to chant in Hebrew in front of the cop, just like the old man in Davening on Avenue Y. 

When I think back to my 'weinerface' days, it may send me into an emotional tailspin, but that should be of absolutely no concern to you at all. Ultimately, it’s my ass, not yours. 

___________________

My Amazon Page

___________________ 

Stories in Weinerface:

1.    How Deep is Your Love?

2.   The Tale of the Magic Pause Button     

3.    Weinerface      

4.    The Shifting Winds of Imagination 

5.    Bitten by a Badger in Blauvelt    

6.    Serendipity Doo Dah  

7.    Ho Ho Ho 

8.    Shirley & Morris’s Personalized Ashtrays 

9.  The Naked Gambler

10.  The High Line 

11.  The One 

12.  Bingo  

13.  The Rise and Fall of a COO 

14.  My Ass, Not Yours   

15.  Tabernacle Tom and His Really Weird, Absolutely True Story . . 

16.  Men with Yellow Balls  

17.  Tabernacle Tom and His Time Machine    

18.   Riding on Trees   

19.   The Bittersweet Ballad of Bobby Blu  

20.  The Ilks   

21.  One-Hundred-Fifty-Nine Pounds Max  

22.  Old Rocker  

23.  Funny, You Don’t Look Dead  

24.  Loony Linnie and the Palindrome Trio  

25.  Dawn of a New Day  

26.  Selective Emory 

27.  A Story With No Ending  

28.  Man of Clay

29.  Davening on Avenue Y

30.  Kerplunk  

31.  Pidge  

32.  The Sea Glass Menagerie

33.  Molly in the Morning 

34.  Art of Deception  

35.  Manhattan Moon 

_______________________________

I decided to become a professional writer when I was fourteen. Why? Because by then, nearly everything I saw, overheard, learned in school, or simply wondered about I turned—in my head at first—into books and plays and movies. That’s just the way it was. I wrote a screenplay when I was 12 and sent it to MGM, and though the studio turned it down, in his note back to me an executive made me feel as if I should never give up my dream to try to become a writer. Then, my ninth-grade English teacher accused me of plagiarizing a book report because she said it was too well-written for a 14-year-old. She sent a nasty note home to my parents. Here’s the thing: I did not plagiarize that damn report! 

That settled it. From then on, I’ve never given up.

I began in journalism at age 17 as a stringer for my hometown newspaper, then continued training in college as an arts reviewer. My first position after college was as an assistant editor on a trade magazine. I then moved into marketing communications for several firms as an account executive, marketing communications manager, and employee communications writer. As a journalist my work has appeared in dozens of magazines, and I am the author of seven published books, including two novels, Blowin’ in the Wind and Almost Like Praying, and a nonfiction book on popular singer, the late Karen Carpenter. That book followed a report on the 30th anniversary of Ms. Carpenter’s death that I wrote and narrated for NPR’s All Things Considered. I have also produced CD compilations of the comedy music created by my late grandfather, Benny Bell, about whom I also wrote a book.  

My wife and I live in Connecticut and have three grown children and five grandchildren.

MY AMAZON PAGE